


Who Doesn't Like Hat Kid?

by MonsterMonsoon



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Art, Fluff, Gen, HEY NOW THERES ART, Hat Kid fought conductor in this story, Hurt/Comfort, I'm mean to the conductor, Snatcher tries very hard to be distant, alcohol mentions later on, comics maybe, conductor was a jerk and now he's sad, he fails, mostly oneshots, not me, oneshots, snatcher is best dad, so is DJ grooves, some are connected, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-02 22:10:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15805548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonsterMonsoon/pseuds/MonsterMonsoon
Summary: A Collection of oneshots about the lovable scamp Hat Kid, and the odd characters who live on the planet she's currently stranded on. Mostly Fluff, some angst. Slight Headcanons. Some stories are connected.





	1. Up a Tree

**Author's Note:**

> HAhah I'm in deep with this game...  
> I'm not sure how many of these I'm gonna write, but let's see!  
> Let's start out with some lovely Snatcher and Hat Kid fluff.

  
"Pretty sure I told you to beat it, kid." Snatcher growled, trying very hard to ignore the small child climbing onto his chair arm.

  
"Whatcha reading?" she asked him, trying to peer into the book.

  
"It's called 'How to Kill Nosy Kids'," the shadow hissed, smiling at her, "Chapter 3, Strangulation. I'm picking up lots of tips."

  
Hat Kid stuck her tongue out at him. "I'd turn you blue first!"

  
Snatcher frowned. "Get lost kid. Go climb a tree, eat some dirt, fall down and cry or something. Go be a kid somewhere else."

  
"Fine!" she hopped off the chair, slipping and falling on her side. Snatcher started howling with laughter. Hat Kid sniffled and ran out of his home. "I'm gonna climb a tree then!"

  
Snatcher laughed for a long time, thinking about Hat Kid falling off his chair like that. A priceless moment, and he was glad to catch it. He settled back into his book. He'd give the Hat Brat ten minutes before she gave up and came back to bother him.

  
Ten minutes pass. Then twenty. Then thirty.

  
He was starting to get curious, and a little concerned. Did she leave the Subcon entirely? That was so unlike her. Was it because he laughed?

  
One of Snatcher's minions came to his door. "Boss? We have a situation."  
Snatcher sighed. "It's the brat, isn't it?"

  
The minion nodded. "She's, well, she's stuck in a tree. She's blaming you and we can't get her down."

  
Snatcher snarled and slammed his book shut. "Where's the brat? She better hope she falls out of the tree before I get to her...lead me."

 

* * *

 

 

Hat Kid gripped the branch she was stuck on for dear life. She had no idea how she got up here. One moment she was hopping along the other tree branches closer to the ground, and now here she was. Hundreds of feet above the air.

  
Below her, dozens of spirits and the minions of Snatcher that she's befriended gathered below her. She could only glance down for a few moments at a time before the sheer scale of how high up she was got her shivering.

  
Stupid Snatcher...

  
"Hey! Kid!" a familiar voice shouted from below. "How did you get up there?!"

  
"I-I don't know! Help!" she whimpered back. "I'd look at you, but I'm afraid if I look down I'll pass out!"

  
She heard an angry groan. Hat Kid managed to slowly look down. She saw a Snatcher circling up the tree. She watched him get closer and closer, climbing to her branch.  
Snatcher reached her branch, looking very upset. "You brat, dragging me all the way out here."

  
Hat Kid whimpered, tears in her eyes, as she looked at him pitifully. She reached out to him. He sighed, mumbling something under his breath as he gently grabbed her. "I got you, kiddo." he assured her, as she clung tightly to his spectral form.

  
He began to float downward. "When I said 'Go climb a tree', I didn't think you would take it so literally." She stuck his tongue out at him in reply. "Hey! You want me to drop you? I can!" he threatened, although there wasn't any force behind his words.

  
Regardless, she yelped "No no!" before hiding her face in the fluff around his neck.

  
Snatcher floated to the ground, the dwellers and minions cheering. Before she hopped down to the ground, Hat Kid gave the demonic shadow a peck on his cheek. Snatcher frowned. "Kid, get down before I strangle you."

 

Hat Kid giggled. "You care!"

  
"No I don't! Now get the heck out of my forest!" Snatcher roared, pointing to the exit.

  
Hat Kid laughed harder as she ran out of the woods, several dwellers running alongside her.

  
Snatcher shook his head. She was just some kid. He didn't care about her at all.


	2. Lost in the Woods

  
Normally, the Subcon forest was very quiet. Filled with ghostly whispers and unearthly murmurs.

  
Keyword, normally.

  
"Ready or not, here I come!" Hat Kid screamed into the woods. "I'm gonna find you!" she quickly equipped her sprint hat, and she began to seek.

  
Snatcher, in some attempt to get some peace and quiet, made a few of his minions play Hide and Seek with the girl. Despite being forced into it, the subconites had been very passionate about entertaining her.

  
Hat Kid had to admit, they were surprisingly good at Hide and Seek.

  
She huffed, hands on her shoulders and a pouting expression on her face. They were _too_ good. She had no clue where they were! To be fair, it was their home, of course they'd have home advantage.  
But she wasn't about to give up!

  
The alien girl adjusted her hat, a determined look in her eyes. No one beat her in Hide and Seek! Especially not some creepy-cute little shadow creatures covered in cloaks.

  
How big could this forest be? They must be in the deeper parts.

  
"I'm coming! I hope you have a good hiding spot!" she shouted to the forest, running deeper and deeper.

 

* * *

 

 

"BOSS! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!" a subconite wailed, running to the tree Snatcher lived in. Several other subconites also chanted about problems as they waited for their boss for help.

  
"Let me guess." Snatcher answered submissively, "The brat got bored and wants me to play? Tell her I'm not-"

  
"No no! Not that! We...We lost the newbie in the deeper parts of the woods!" they answered, bracing for the answer.

  
Snatcher was silent for a moment, before becoming enraged. " **WHAT?!** How do you lose her?! She's a loud brat who's as big as you!?"

  
The Shadow forced himself to calm down, pacing and trying to think. Where would the Hat Brat get lost? "Where was she seen last?" he growled at his minions.

  
"W-We didn't see. It, It was our turn to hide."

  
He snarled, pacing more. He had to think. The brat had to be found before night fell, and the woods got _truly_ dark.

  
"Well, everyone take a section of the woods and spread out. Get all of the other minions and inform them of the situation. Everyone is taking part!" Snatcher declared.

  
"And you, Boss?" a minion asked.

  
Snatcher paused. "I...will patrol the area near... _her_ mansion. I don't want the brat to accidentally stumble into sudden death. If anyone is gonna kill the kid, it's me!" he quickly added to save face. "Well?! What are you waiting for? Get to it!"

 

* * *

 

 

"Hello? Ollie Ollie oxen free? Guys?" Hat Kid calls out into the woods. Nothing looks familiar. Well, that one tree did. Didn't she pass that tree twice already?

  
"Guys! I-I don't wanna play anymore!" she called out again. Could anyone hear her?

  
She sniffled. It was getting darker, and she was starting to feel scared. She had never gone this deep in the woods. "...Snatcher? Are you there?"

  
In the distance, she heard a creature howl. She understood it was a little cliche, but it was still terrifying. What was out here? Were there monsters?

  
Hat Kid was crying now, holding the brim of her hat and pressing it tightly to her head. She finally accepted it. She was hopelessly, totally lost.

  
"Help! I'm lost!" she cried, to no one in particular. _"Help!"_

  
She continued to walk forward, she had to go somewhere, right? Either the forest's end or, hopefully, back into the village.

  
The air started to get colder, and Hat Kid started to pass by tiny bits of ice. Although she didn't notice.

  
She also didn't notice stepping right into one of Snatcher's traps. The tarp trap, to be specific. Relief flooded through her. Snatcher always checked his traps.

  
Sure enough, a few minutes passed by before she tumbled from the trap, and the familiar purple filled her vision.

  
"Alright I'm a busy man, lets make this quick. No one enters my forest and lives, now gimme your soul." Snatcher quickly demanded, not noticing that she was in her traps. Not getting a response, the shadow finally realized who was in his trap.

  
"KID!" he exclaimed, his trap dissolving as he picked her up. "Do you have any idea how close you were to the mansion?! Do you know how close you were to dying?!"

  
Hat Kid's only response was to start bawling her eyes out. Snatcher quickly picked her up, trying to comfort her. "Hey, it's fine. You're fine kid. You're in one piece, you have your soul, ~~_unfortunately_~~ , and I found you! You were only gone for an hour."

  
"I-I-I was so scared!" she sobbed, burying her face into his fluff. "I thought w-wolves were going to eat me!"

  
"Hey, don't get your gross tears on me, I don't know where you've been. And don't worry." he chuckled. "We don't have wolves. We have dire wolves! They're at least three times bigger and have large spikes growing from their backs."

  
She didn't find this as humorous as he did, her response only being quiet crying. Snatcher sighed. "Hey, kid. I'll take you back to the village, OK? You really gave my minions a scare. Quite rude of you. You're fine. You're going to be fine."

  
"I won't let you get hurt."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like these little drabbles so far! I know they're a bit on the shorter side, but don't worry.  
> The next one will be much longer...


	3. Favoritism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The friendship between Hat Kid and DJ Grooves has grown even stronger since the incident after the Award Ceremony.  
> And Conductor seems...unhappy.

 

"Well darling, same time tomorrow?" the DJ pat Hat Kid's shoulder.

  
Despite the fact she wasn't in a movie, she still worked time in to hang out with her favorite penguin. She really enjoyed having a seat with him and talking.

  
"Of course! I wouldn't miss it!" she chirped, hugging his arm.

  
From afar, Conductor watched the interaction. He huffed and stomped back to his set. How could she like that DJ Peck Neck more than him? All he did was sing and dance in place. He was loud and boring; just like his movies.

  
Conductor shook his head. His non-existent relationship with the alien didn't bother him in the slightest.

  
It bothered him a lot.  
What did DJ Grooves have that he didn't? He was much funnier and nicer than that lousy penguin.

  
It was most likely the Award Ceremony incident.

  
Conductor shuddered. He regret his actions so much. He was so stupid! He didn't even know why he did it! It was like...something else was in control.

  
The Owl sat in his director's chair, thinking. He's tried to apologize to the Lass, but she's seemed to be avoiding him.

  
_It's because of what you did after the Award Ceremony._

  
He grimaced. It was probably true. Why would she forgive him? Why would anyone forgive him?

  
"Uh, boss?"

  
Conductor snapped to attention. "Wha do ye want?!" he barked at the owl.

  
The owl cringed. "Shouldn't we be shooting now?"

  
"Of course we should be shooting ye nitwit! That's what I'm paying ye for!"

  
"You don't pay us." the owl mumbled under his breath.

  
"Er, actually...I have a question for ye." the Conductor said quickly. "How...how would you apologize to someone? Asking for a friend?" he asked as sweetly as he could, smiling.  
The owl blinked, taken aback by the sudden 180. "W-Well, a simple and straightforward apology is the best way. Understand why the other person is upset, apologize, and promise to never do it again. Or at least try not to. And if you really mess up, m-maybe a small gift?" he tilted his head. "Does this have anything to do with the small girl-"

 

 _"NO IT DOESN'T. GET ON THE **PECKING TRAIN.** "_ Conductor screeched. The owl squeaked and ran to the train fearfully.

  
It was good advice, even if Conductor somewhat exploded in the end. Getting the Lass a present sounded like a good idea. Maybe it would convince her to stay close, so she could hear his apology.

  
The Owl paused his train of thought. Wait, what did she like? She hadn't spoken to him since the incident. He knew nothing about her likes or dislikes, and thinking really hard about it, he didn't even know her name!

  
Peck, it was worse than he thought. He wasn't just a bad friend, he was an awful, terrible friend. Maybe she didn't even see him as a friend. He wouldn't be surprised.

  
No! He could still fix this! He was the Conductor! The best movie producer ever! He was going to apologize, and be Lassie's best friend, and rub it in that DJ Peck Neck's stupid face!

  
But first, he needed a certain Peck Neck's help...

 

* * *

  
"C'mon! Ye talk to her ever week! Ye've got to know SOMETHING!" Conductor paced as DJ Grooves did his hair in the mirror.

  
"Why are you so interested in my favorite little star?" the Penguin hissed.

  
"She's me star too! She was in me movies!"

  
"Then why don't you know?" DJ Grooves retorted, putting the comb down and turning to the Owl. "You and I both know why she likes me best and talks to me. I didn't attack her with disco balls, knives and bombs!"

  
"That's why I need to know what the lass likes!" Conductor began to explain. "I want to apologize to her. To let her know how I feel, and I feel awful. I want to right the wrongs."

  
DJ Grooves frowned. "So you want to know what she likes, so you can apologize?"

  
"Yes! That's the plan!"

  
The penguin thought for a moment, trying to tell if the owl was telling the truth or not. "Well, the darling has an adorable sweet tooth. She loves juice boxes and cookies. She loves these triple chocolate ones, and always asks for some. But she always offers me one, it's so sweet." he gushed.

  
Conductor angrily huffed. Was the DJ rubbing it in his face? "Sweets eh? I can do that. Thanks DJ Peck Neck!-"

  
"Hold it Conductor Darling!" DJ Grooves shouted. "If you hurt my little star, I will hurt you." he threatened, voice full of venom.

  
Conductor scoffed. "I'm not gonna hurt the Lass. That's the opposite of what I intend to do."

  
"My previous statement still stands. Hurt her, and you'll regret it. Now get out of my studio!"

  
 _"IT'S ME STUDIO TOO!"_ Conductor snapped, slamming the door open and marching out. He had to plan.

 

* * *

  
Hat Kid hummed as she twirled her umbrella. Time for her visit with DJ Grooves! Juice boxes and cookies, and he would tell her stories about the moon-

  
"THERE YE ARE, LASSIE!"

  
Hat Kid froze in place, hands tightly gripping her umbrella as if her life depended on it. She knew that voice.

  
~~_"THIS ONE AIN'T RUBBER!"_ ~~

  
The Conductor ran to her from behind some props. "I've been waiting for ye Lassie!" he put on his best smile, practically beaming at her.

  
No. She didn't want to deal with Conductor today. "I-I-I need to go see DJ-"

  
"Ah yes! Ye weekly visit with DJ Peck Neck! I'm aware!" Conductor scooched closer, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Unfortunately, he's very, very busy! He wasn't able to make it."

  
_~~"How could ye do THIS to me Lassie?!"~~ _

  
Hat Kid gulped. "H-He wasn't?" She really hoped he wasn't about to-

  
"But don't worry Lass, I can take over!" he assured her. "Besides, I've been meaning to talk to ye."

  
"...great." she muttered, faking a smile. She was really hoping to avoid him for quite a while.

  
"I have it all set up! DJ Grooves told me everything!" the owl assured her, dragging her behind him as he walked ahead. "I heard ye have a sweet tooth! I'm not a fan meself, but I got ye some goodies! Me grandkids love them-"

  
Internally, Hat Kid was screaming. She did not want to do this. She did not want the Conductor to hold her hand, or pat her shoulder, she didn't want anything to do with the owl. She wasn't even sure if he is an owl!

  
_~~"I can't believe I let YE in ME MOVIE!"~~ _

  
"No!" Hat Kid screamed, pulling away from Conductor.

  
Conductor frowned. "Lass? Are ye OK?" he asked, as gently as he could.

  
She trembled, tears in her eyes. "No! I don't want to do this! I wanted Grooves, not you! I don't want a weekly visit with you!"

  
"B-But...Lassie," Conductor's voice was trembling. "I wanted to apologize...I-I-I wanted to..." he struggled to find the right words.

  
Hat Kid shook her head. "No. No, I'm not ready. I-I'm sorry." There was a flash as Hat Kid returned to her ship, and she was gone.

  
Conductor stood there. What had he done wrong?! He had done everything right...

  
He messed everything up. Again.

  
How could he fix it now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO'S READY FOR A ROLLER COASTER OF TORMENTING CONDUCTOR  
> I really like him, I swear. Like, even more than grooves. But MAN! Can he be a jerk to Hat Kid!  
> So he's gotta learn before she can listen to him.


	4. What Do Souls Taste Like?

  
"What do souls taste like?"

  
_"...excuse me?"_

  
It had become a strange ritual, Hat Kid visiting the Subcon forest every day or so to see her BFF. He had grown used to her, and begrudgingly allowed her to run around in his woods.

  
She had been sitting in one of his chairs, staring at him while he read. Snatcher had managed to ignore it, thinking she fell asleep in the chair, until she asked him a question.

  
"What do souls taste like?" she asked him, tilting her head slightly.

  
"Excuse me? What prompted that?" he asked, a little annoyed. He had reached a good part in his book.

  
"When we first met. You said, Normally I'd eat your soul and toss your body!" she wiggled her fingers and tried to, poorly, mimic his voice. Snatcher's eye twitched. "So, what do souls taste like?"

  
"Well, uh-"

  
"Does it differ from person to person?"

  
"You see-"

  
"Like could you tell the difference between two souls?"

  
"Kid-"

  
"Or is eating more a metaphorical thing?"

  
 _"Are you going to let me answer or not?!"_ he snarled, shutting his book and floating over to her. Snatcher sighed. "It's, more of a metaphorical thing. I consume a soul, and it gives me power. It, well," he paused, thinking. "It sustains me."

  
"So, what do they taste like?" she said with a small smile. "Also, sidenote, can I braid your fluff? Say nothing if you want me to-"

  
"Don't touch me." he quickly shot down her request, before sitting in a chair to continue the soul discussion. "Honestly, I've never noticed a ' _taste_ ' to souls. I don't ' _eat_ ' them, so I wouldn't be able to taste them."

  
"Well, why didn't you eat mine?" she smiled at him.

  
"I don't ' _eat_ ' souls, and honestly, I didn't think it would be worth it at first. I thought you were a dumb brat who wandered too far from the playground."

  
"You thought I was dumb?" she asked, a little hurt.

  
"Not at all! I still think you're a dumb brat." he smiled at her. Although Snatcher's smile faded as Hat Kid sniffled sadly. "Oh, relax. I don't think you're dumb." he assured her.

  
She rubbed her eyes and grew angry. "You jerk! Don't do that!" she yelled. He laughed at her anger.

  
"Learn to take a joke kid! But I did go a little far." he admitted, laughing.

  
She huffed, then gave a sly grin. "I'd forgive you if you let me braid you!"

  
"Not a chance, kiddo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a tiny bit of filler while I work on more Grooves and Conductor. They're a lot harder to write.


	5. It's a Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conductor and Grooves have a nice cafe meeting with Hat Kid.

  
_"Conductor, you scared away my star!"_

  
"I did no such thing!"

  
It had been a week since Hat Kid last visited. Dj Grooves wasn't quite sure what had happened, but he was convinced Conductor was a part of it. He was the last to see her, after all. And viewing the security tapes gave silent glimpses of something going on, but it was vague enough to be infuriating.

  
And it didn't help that the owl was avoiding DJ Grooves at every chance. For a detective writer, one would think Conductor would be better at not looking suspicious.

  
"I know you did something! Just tell me what you did!"

  
"I didn't do anything ye Peck Neck! Buzz off!"

  
DJ Grooves grabbed Conductor's sleeve, pulling him back. "Oh no you don't! What did I tell you?"

  
"You tell me lotsa things! It goes in one ear and out the other. Heheh..." Conductor chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. It failed.

  
"Think hard then." DJ Grooves growled. "I told you that if you hurt my star, there would be consequences."

  
Conductor threw his hands up in an exasperated gesture. "I didn't do ANYTHING! I greeted the lass, told her ye were busy, and next thing I know, she freaks out on me!"

  
DJ Grooves glared at the owl. "Well, the footage showed you touching her arm, and pulling her away. She seemed very apprehensive to go with you. She wasn't happy. Why didn't you notice!?"

  
Conductor stood there, stuttering and twiddling with his fingers. "I-I-I don't know! I didn't mean to! I want to make things right! You've got to help me!"

  
The Penguin sighed. "Fine. I'll help you darling. Because I know that my star wants to be friends with you, for reasons I can't fathom."

  
"Thank ye! For being a Peck Neck, ye can really come through some times!" Conductor managed to smile a little bit at his rival. "So! Let's get down to business!"

  
"Walk with me darling." DJ Grooves ordered. "Now, she points out three main...issues with you. And I mean that in the nicest way possible." the owl angrily frowned, but remained silent. The penguin continued.

  
"She thinks you're mean-"

  
"No I'm not!" Conductor squawked. His feather's started to puff up.

  
"She thinks you have an anger problem-"

  
"No I don't!!" Conductor screeched. His face started to look red.

  
_"And she thinks you don't care about her."_

  
Conductor, who had been dutifully following DJ Grooves, slowed to a stop. "Does the lass really think that?"

  
"She used some very...'colorful' language to describe what she thought of you. To summarize, she called you a ticking timebomb who would explode at the smallest thing, and that you hate her."

  
"I don't hate the lass! I may have the slightest bit of anger, and I may be a bit harsh at times, but I haven't said a single mean thing to her!"

  
The DJ scoffed. "From what she's told me, you haven't said a single nice thing to her! After I give her a passport and ask her to be in my movie, you swoop in and call her a fraud. During one of the recordings for your movie, you told her you found your train more important than her, and showed no remorse or even concern for what you put her through! During the awards, you called her part insignificant, called her ugly, and then told her to take a hike! And should I even mention the _Award Ceremony Scuffle in the basement?!"_ he was fuming now, angry that his business rival would even think about doing any of those things to a small child.

  
_"She's a kid, Conductor darling! Not one of your owls to abuse!"_

  
Conductor stood there, shocked. Is that was the lass thought of him? Was he that bad? If that's how she saw it, no wonder she hated him. "Tha's...a lot to take in, Grooves."

  
DJ Grooves sighed. "Now, she could have exaggerated the stories some, she is a child after all. And, you're in luck darling. Despite everything she's told me, she's willing to try to forgive you. And I'm willing to help."

  
"Thank ye! Thank ye so much! I can't thank you enough!"

  
"Once my darling comes back, I'll set up another meeting. The three of us. But there's a few ground rules. _You must keep your temper in line, darling."_

  
Conductor gulped.

  
Maybe this would be harder than he thought...

 

* * *

  
It took Grooves some time to coax Hat Kid back to the studio. She was worried that Conductor was angry at her and would do something, but Grooves assured her that wasn't the case.

  
Eventually she agreed to meet the two of them, but her body movements and behavior clearly showed she wasn't happy.

  
Once Hat Kid arrived at the studios, she greeted the Penguin with a big hug. "Heya Grooves! Good to see you!" she chirped, tugging on his sleeves and bouncing around.

  
"Imagine how the lass will be when she gets some sugar." Conductor thought to himself, watching her hop around. He wasn't jealous of the attention, or anything. Not at all.

  
Yes he was.

  
Conductor cleared his throat, to get her attention. "Er, hello Lassie. I'm glad to see ye!"

  
Hat Kid stopped her bouncing, trying to subtly hide behind the penguin. "Hi there." she greeted quietly. "Um, you're coming with today, right?"

  
"Indeed he is darling! He has some new movie ideas he wants to share with you!" Grooves answered, glancing at the owl.

  
"I do? I-I do! Lotsa ideas!"

  
"See? Now, why don't you take lead darling. Conductor and I will follow behind."

  
"OK!" she started to skip and run ahead, thinking about which cafe the three should go to.

  
As they walked, the penguin whispered, "OK listen darling, she's a little girl, she may ask some odd questions. Keep your cool, answer them to the best of your ability."

  
"I know how children work." Conductor growled.

  
"You're not off to a good start."

  
"This one! They have the best cookies ever!" she exclaimed, running back to try to hurry the birds up. "C'mon c'mon!"

  
They chose a table outside. Hat Kid had, quite adorably, asked for cookies and pastries and a juicebox. Conductor and Grooves had a cup of coffee each.

  
The owl mostly observed the two talking about, really whatever came into the young girl's head. Something about a ghost she was 'BFFs' with, Mafia town, and her Vacuum Cleaner? It was all greek to him.

  
This coffee was bland. It needed something, extra. Conductor slowly reached into his coat, pulling out a flask. Just a little spice to his drink-

  
"Conductor?"

  
"I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING" he shouted, shoving the flask back into his coat.

  
"No, darling. I was asking about your movies. My star is very curious about your ideas." Grooves smiled, gesturing to the girl. She was patting the table, balancing a cookie on her nose.  
"Oh! Well, lassie I have some ideas." Conductor thought of a probable movie plot. "So it starts out looking like the victim was accidentally run over with me train, but someone was actually driving the train! MURRRRDER! HO-HAAHAH!"

  
"Would I be the murder victim?" she asked, wincing slightly. The owl glanced at the DJ, who was gesturing for him to tone it down slightly.

  
"No no no Lassie!" Conductor assured, trying to sound soft. He went to grab her hand, but after what happened last time, decided not to. "Ye'd be the detective Lass. Ye did so well last time! I tried very hard to hide me tracks."

  
"I was?" she asked, smiling at him. Seeing the lass so happy certainly lifted his spirits some.

  
"You were a great detective lassie." he assured.

  
Hat Kid, slightly more comfortable with his presence now, shifted the conversation to Conductor. Talking about cookies, his train, and other random subjects that only a small, intelligent child like herself could think about. However, when she started asking questions, things started to go sour.

  
"So, can I ask a weird question? Are you an owl?"

  
Conductor huffed. _"Of course I'm an owl! What did ye expect?! A pumpkin?! What kind of idiotic question is that?"_

  
She frowned, looking away. "Sorry..."

  
He felt like he'd been stabbed in the gut. Which was, quite frankly, rather appropriate.

  
"Er, sorry about that Lassie. I suppose I don't look much like the other express owls, eh? Heheh..."

  
The damage had been done. She had scootched closer to DJ Grooves and began to talk to him now.

  
The Owl sighed. This was going to be much harder than he thought.

 

* * *

  
"I had so much fun!" she shouted, tugging on the penguin's arm. The three were walking back to the studios, Hat Kid on a sugar high from all the pastries she ate.

  
Conductor didn't have a horrible time; he at least got to talk to her some. He wasn't able to apologize, but he supposed she needed more time.

  
He felt something in his hand. Looking down, the Owl saw the little girl had begun to hold his hand. She looked at him, smiling gently.

  
Conductor didn't know what to say. So he said nothing. Words were fickle things anyway. He nodded at her, and continued to hold her hand.

  
It was a start.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEAH MORE CONDUCTOR AND GROOVES!  
> THINGS ARE IMPROVING!  
> For now...  
> And also, does it count as Fanart if I drew it?


	6. Anger Management

  
Hat Kid hadn't spent too much time on the front of the train before, she had really only been on Conductor's train twice. First time, she was a detective and was too busy to properly look there. The other time, she was running for her life as the train fell apart.

  
Reasonable excuses in her book.

  
This was her first experience truly exploring the front.

  
And it was Conductor's first time watching her without Grooves since...the incident.

  
Both were a little on edge, trying to make sure they didn't upset the other person. Conductor didn't want to deal with a sobbing Lass, and Hat Kid didn't want the Owl to explode out of anger.

  
It was a tense day, and everyone on the train could feel it. The CAW agents, the owls, and especially Conductor and Hat Kid.

  
"So how do you steer?" she asked him, peering over all of the bright, flashy buttons and levers.

  
"I don' need to steer! The train is on tracks, lassie. Minimal steering."

  
"Well, can I press some buttons?" she asked, her eyes glimmering at the large, glowing buttons.

  
"Er- no." Conductor said, gently grabbing her hand and pulling her closer to him. "Don't press the buttons lass. Controlling the train is an art, and it's a delicate thing. One wrong move, and we could all get seriously hurt!"

  
She huffed. "This job seems boring."

  
"It's not that boring, Lass!" he assured. "It can be a bit dull, but the pride, and the tradition of conducting-"

  
"What about this button?" she interrupted, seeing a microphone and screen. "Is this a TV?"

  
"No, that's how I announce to me passengers."

  
"CAN I ANNOUNCE?!" she squealed, pulling on the microphone.

  
Conductor chuckled, "Alrighty lass, I have a few things you can announce. Ye got to be loud, and ye got to be clear. OK?"

  
He handed the girl a page of notes, and turned on the device. Hat Kid's image appeared on tv screens in some cars, and her voice could be heard all thoughout the train. "The next stop is Eagle Rock. The next stop is Eagle Rock. In ten minutes. Over!"

  
Conductor switched off the microphone. "Good work, Lass." he praised.

  
"Not gonna lie, I expected that to be more exciting." she said, her tone flat. "How much longer is the trip?"

  
"Seven more hours, Lass. Isn't it exciting?!"

  
This was going to be a long train ride.

 

* * *

 

 

Hat Kid had managed to pass some time with her dolls. She nestled herself in the corner of the room, occasionally hiding her playthings when the Conductor would walk back to check on her. She was too old for dolls!

  
Mostly.

  
But even dolls had grown boring. She had chosen to sprawl out on the floor. This train ride was so boring. But she didn't want to let Conductor down...

  
Had that cupboard always been there?

  
Crawling over to the small cupboard, it looked like it was supposed to be hidden.

  
"What's in this little cupboard?" she asked the owl, tugging on his sleeve.

  
"What cupboard? I don't see nothin'." he glanced in the general direction, not seeing the cupboard. "Are ye doin' OK, Lassie?"

  
She smiled at him. "I'm peachy keen! Is that something on the tracks?"

  
As the conductor looked back to the tracks, muttering about 'pecking cows', she snuck back to the cupboard. Moment of truth, here we go!

  
She opened the tiny cupboard to find, a box, some weirdly shaped bottles, and a picture frame. Grabbing the box, she blew some dust off the top and read the label. "Cigars?" she opened it to find a handful of brown cylinder...things. The weirdly shaped bottles were a bright silver, and whatever was inside them smelled awful. She put the box and bottles down, and reached for the picture frame. She saw some orange feathers-

  
 _"AH-AH I'M JUST HOLDING THOSE!"_ Conductor squawked, snatching the frame from her hands.

  
"They're not yours? Who's in the photo?" she asked him.

  
"T-They're not mine. Eh, I'm holding them! Fer a friend. Those a-aren't me cigars, or me flasks! And this picture...it's not important." he started putting everything back, quickly closing the cupboard. "I forgot those were there- And Lassie! It's not very polite to go through people's things!"

  
She frowned, feeling guilt pool in her gut. "I'm sorry. I was just curious..."

  
"It's alright, Lass. Just don't go through people's things! Yer bored, aren't ye? I won't be upset! Not everyone can be a conductor."

  
"I'M SO BORED!" she shouted, flopping on the floor to play dead.

  
"Hmm...Well, we've got a stop coming up. It's a long stop, so we have time. Have I shown ye the Dining Car, Lassie?" he grinned at her. Everyone loved the Dining Car. And knowing her sweet tooth, she was bound to like it.

  
"No you haven't! Show me, show me!" she sat up, tugging on his sleeve.

  
He chuckled. "Gimmie a few minutes lassie. Wanna pull on the brake?"

 

* * *

 

 

The Dining Car was a very cozy train car, with nice tables and big plush chairs. It was starting to turn into autumn, and the whole car smelled of cinnamon and sugar. Conductor wasn't a huge fan, himself. Sugar didn't totally agree with him.

  
But it was clear she loved it.

  
Hat Kid squealed, running and flopping into one of the chairs. "It smells so nice in here! And it's warm!"

  
"Hello sweetie." an tired voice cooed. Standing behind the counter was an elderly grey-brown bird. "Mr. Conductor, would you like your usual? Irish Coffee and one of my reduced sugar muffins?"

  
"N-Not today. I'm here to introduce a friend o' mine." he turned to Hat Kid, gesturing to the old bird. "Lassie, this is Ms. Dawn. She is the chef. And an excellent pastry chef!"

  
Hat Kid pulled her hat off, bowing to Ms. Dawn. She giggled and cooed. "What a darling! Conductor, is she your niece?"

  
"No, not really anyway. She's a good friend o' mine. Now, Lassie, what would ye like?"

  
Hat Kid bounced up and down. "Can I have a cookie? Oh! And a juicebox?"

  
"Of course sweetie." the dove cooed.

  
Hat Kid went back to jumping on one of the chairs. Conductor sighed, turning to Ms. Dawn. "I haven't watched over children in quite some time. Are they all like this? _She found me cigars! And me whiskey!"_

  
Ms. Dawn chuckled, placing a juicebox and several cookies on a napkin. "Children are so sweet. You best watch carefully over her! I can tell she's a sensitive soul. I hope she's not picking up on your foul language!"

  
Conductor chuckled nervously. "Well, I'm doing me best. It's a slow process. But I'm trying."

  
"Yay! Cookies!" Hat Kid interrupted, grabbing the sweets. "Thank you Ms. Dawn! Thank you Conductor!"

  
"Not a problem, sweetie." the dove giggled, patting her on the head. "Now, Mr. Conductor, you have a train to conduct?"

  
"Yer right! C'mon Lassie! You have more announcements to make! Ye can take yer goodies with, but we gotta hurry!"

  
Conductor practically dragged Hat Kid back to the head of the train. They were behind schedule!

  
"OK Lass, make the announcements while I get this baby running!"

 

* * *

 

 

 

After a small delay, they were back on schedule. "HAHA! That's me baby!" Conductor cheered, patting the control panel. "I knew ye could do it!"

  
"The train is your baby?" Hat Kid asked, a little confused.

  
"I've had her for years! She's been through thick and thin! She's the best train on the planet!"

  
"Are you sure I can't press one button?" she asked, leaning over the control panel. They were so bright and tempting! How could she not?

  
"Lass, Lass! Back up! You're gonna-" Conductor grabbed her arm, trying to pull her away. Surprised, Hat Kid squeezed her juice box, causing it to spray all over the control panel. Electricity sparked as the liquid caused the circuits to short out. The train slowed to a stop, and the flights flicked before dying out.

  
Hat Kid quietly gasped, backing up a few steps. She could feel the Conductor puff up, and saw his hands ball up in anger. "I-I'm so sorry! I-I didn't, I didn't mean to-"

  
_"Get. Out. Of. My. Sight."_

  
"I'm sorry! It was an accident! I can help! Let, Let me help! I can get some towels-"

  
" _I SAID, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! YOU...YOU HAT-WEARING, UMBRELLA-TOTING, **PECK NECK!!"**_ he screeched, sending Hat Kid into tears. Sobbing, she ran out of the room.

  
Ranting and raving, Conductor turned to his microphone. "Listen up! Due to technical difficulties, we will be making a stop right here. And engineer? _IF YOU WANT TO KEEP YER JOB, GET UP HERE **NOW!**_ "

 

* * *

 

 

They were stranded for a while. Thankfully, the Engineer Owl had assured the enraged Conductor that everything would be OK, and that it could be fixed.

  
But until then, Conductor had to explain to his passengers. "There was an accident up in the front, and some wires short circuited. We'll be back on track in no time."

  
_"Oh no!"_

  
_"I'm gonna be late!"_

  
_"Oh dear..."_

  
A small group of birds approached the Conductor. He stiffened up, prepared to listen to their problems. "Excuse me, there's someone in the female bathroom? They've been in there for a while..."

  
"Eh? I can send one of me owls to investigate-"

  
"We're just worried, it sounded like they were crying..."

  
"Well I can-" he froze. _"...repeat that."_

  
"There's someone in the bathroom and they've been in there for a long time? We think they're crying."

  
_Oh no._

  
"I-I..I'll, I'll take c-care of that." he stammered, turning on his heel and sprinting to the bathroom.

  
_Oh God, it was the Award Ceremony all over again._

  
Reaching the female bathroom, he could clearly hear Hat Kid's sobbing from inside. The owl felt guilt twist his insides into knots. He paced outside the door for a minute, thinking of what to do.

  
What would Grooves do?

  
Conductor knocked on the door. "Lassie? Um, Darling?" no, that sounded wrong. "S-Sweetheart? Sweet...pea?" he said, as sweetly as he could.

  
"Go away..." came the response.

  
"Listen, Lassie. I'm so, so sorry I yelled at ye like that. I was just upset because of me train. I thought she was ruined!" he cleared his throat and lowered his tone. "Listen, um, Sweetie? Everything's OK now! The train isn't ruined, it can be fixed. It's OK."

  
The bathroom door opened. Hat Kid's face was red from crying. Before he could say anything, she rushed to hug him. He was very taken aback, but slowly hugged her back.

  
After a few moments, Hat Kid slowly pried herself away from the Owl. She wiped her eyes, sniffling "I can go home, if you want..."

  
"Well, we might be here for a while, Lass. Wait, how exactly are ye gonna 'get home'?" he asked, confused.

  
"I can teleport back to my ship. Have you never seen it?" she smiled a little, knowing how strange it would look to him.

  
"Well Lass, we're gonna be here for a while. I won't fault ye if ye wanna head to yer ship. But, before ye go, I had fun. And I'm sorry again Lassie."

  
She motioned for him to lean closer. She kissed the top of his beak, causing him to stumble backwards, flustered. " _L-Lassie!!_ You can't just do that!"

  
"I think I did!" she chirped, wiping away the little bit of tears left on her cheeks. "See you next week?"

  
"Of course, Lass."

  
As she zipped into thin air, he assumed to his spaceship, Conductor sighed. It was getting easier, but he still had much to learn.

  
He wished his wife was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOA, 2 CONDUCTOR CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY?!  
> It's a miracle


	7. House Guest

  
Despite having the vast, alien world as her playground, there was no where Hat Kid liked better than her spaceship. It was tailor made by her after all, why wouldn't she enjoy it? And her absolute favorite part of her ship was her bed.

  
She was currently all tucked into bed. She knew she had to get up soon, but her bed was so comfy. Just a few more minutes.

  
Something poked her.

  
Hat Kid huffed, shifting slightly. One of her toys must have gotten into her bed. Settling back in, she wistfully sighed.

  
Something poked her again, this time it was followed by a whisper. "Hey, Kid. Wake up. You have a guest."

  
She shot up, sitting upright in her bed. How, when and why did Snatcher come here?! Snatcher leered, grinning devilishly at her. "Nice place, Kid. It certainly fits you."

  
"WHY ARE YOU ON MY SHIP?!" she shrieked, stumbling out of bed. "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HERE?"

  
"Relax kid!" Snatcher assured, flopping onto the massive pile of pillows. "You always come and bother me, I thought I'd reverse the roles! Are you saying you don't want to spend time with your BFF? I'm heartbroken!" he said, slightly mocking in tone.

  
Hat Kid quickly donned her signature top hat and marched over to him. "You better be on your best behavior! I'll turn you blue!"

  
He scoffed, tossing several pillows around. "Do you always talk to your guests like that? C'mon kid! Let's have some fun!"

  
She was knocked to her feet as several pillows hit her. "Hey!" she said, rather indignantly. The ghost cackled as he vanished into the floor. He could be anywhere!

  
She sprinted into the main area. Who knows where he could be, and what he could be doing. Hat Kid could hear the rattling of pots and pans, the kitchen!

  
She burst through the doors. "Snatcher?!" she called out.

  
He was looking through her cupboards and fridge. "Kid, how the HECK do you live here? There's dishes everywhere, there's spilled jars in the cupboard," he pulls out a plate. "Kid, does this have _eyes_ in it?"

  
"Hey! That's a delicacy where I'm from!" she squeaked, her face growing red. "If I wanted to get lectured on my food I'd call Cooking Cat!"

  
"Kid you're starting to look like a tomato! Wait, do you even know what a tomato is?" he asked as she took the plate from him, putting it away.

  
"Why are you even in my kitchen!?"

  
He smiled, snatching her hat from her head, and placing it on his own. "Because I like teasing you."

  
Hat Kid huffed. "Give it back!" she grabbed his tail, trying to pull him closer. This backfired, as she just ended up getting dragged by the mischievous spirit as he left the kitchen.

  
"Rumbi! Help me!" she called out to her trusty vacuum. Rumbi beeped and zipped over, furiously vacuuming underneath Snatcher.

  
He frowned, picking up Rumbi and placing him upside down. "Some helper you got there, kid."

  
"Hey! Only I can do that to Rumbi!" she ran over, flipping her little robot right side up. "Snatcher! Stop it!"

  
"Make me!" he taunted, vanishing into the floor again. He left her hat, which she grabbed and shoved on her head.

  
"I'm gonna make you so blue, you'll look like...like...I can't think of anything catchy right now!" she shouted, hoping he heard. She stomped to a drawer, opening it to see cans of paint. Opening another, she grabbed a bag of water balloons.

  
In the kitchen, she tediously filled each balloon with a generous helping of paint. Her fingers coated in blue, and holding 3 balloons in each hand, (with one in her hat), Hat Kid had some ghost hunting to do.

  
Hat Kid followed the maniacal laughing throughout the rooms. He was making messes in every room he went in. Whenever she saw him, or thought she saw him, she would throw a paint balloon at him. She missed every time.

  
After running around her ship for hours, and using all of the balloons in her hands, she had to stop and rest. In the main room, she leaned against a wall, huffing and puffing.

  
"Hey Kid? Giving up so easily?" Snatcher taunted from outside her vision.

  
And that's when it clicked.

  
_This is what he wanted!_

  
He wanted her to run around, and get mad at him. He was toying with her, like a cat with a mouse.

  
Well she was putting an end to that.

  
She walked over to her TV, turned on her console, sat down, and began to play video games. She hoped her hypothesis was correct.

  
And it was.

  
A few moments after she started playing, she could hear Snatcher get closer. "Kid? Did you give up?" Snatcher saw her play video games, and floated closer. "Hey! C'mon I'm right here!" he growled, waving a hand in front of her face. "Hello!?"

  
Floating upside down, he hovered in front of her. "Hey! Kid! I'm right here!!"

  
Hat Kid only responded by pausing her game, and turning away from him.

  
He made an offended noise. "Are you, giving me the silent treatment?!" he snarled, trying to float back in front of her. But she kept turning away. "Don't ignore me!! Kid!!"

  
Snatcher tried a variety of stunts to get her attention. Including flipping Rumbi upside down again, picking her up by her cape, and taking the pillows from her room and dumping them on her. She continued to ignore him.

  
He loudly sighed, laying on the pillows next to her. "You're boring now."

  
Seeing a moment of weakness, she pulled the paint balloon out of her hat, and hit him in the face. He hissed, trying to get the paint off his eyes. "You brat!"

  
She pulled out her umbrella and started to hit him with it. "This is for flipping Rumbi! And dumping pillows on me! And drawing mustaches on my drawings!"

  
"Kid! Kid stop it!" he picked her up. Wiping some of the blue off his face, he glared at her. "Fine. Truce?"

  
She nodded. "Truce. You wanna watch a movie?"

  
He thought for a moment. "I suppose."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snatcher is a literal child.


End file.
